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Mike's Opinion, whether you care or not....

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Books and Movies - Reviewed

This is gonna be short and sweet.... just 1-5 stars (1 star being ass flavored bung fruit and 5 being right up there with "Star Wars, Episode IV - A New Hope" or "Catcher in the Rye"), no BS politicizing or pseudo-philosophizing...Simply MY opinion of whether it sucks or not....Know of a movie or book that I just MUST review? Got an opinion or recommendation? Then email me!

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Movie: Shallow Hal * *

Funny but not in a gut busting way

 

Movie: The Royal Tenenbaums * *

Pretentious actors basing the movies comedy on predisposed comedic skill falls short.

 

Movie: Kung Pow * *

Great Ideabad executionMST3K did a better job

 

Movie: Harts War * * * ½

Good solid WWII flickgotta get that DVD..

 

Movie: John Q * * *

This could have been a GREAT moviebut the leftist political agenda shows like stains under a poly-light.

 

Movie: Resident Evil * * * *

OUTSTANDING- a solid B flick in a sci-fi/horror sort of way!

 

Movie: Collateral Damage * * *

Another could-have-been, this movie had so much potential. No bad though!

 

Movie: Gosford Park * * *

Interestingly peculiar film about The Helpits not a keeperbut a good Sunday afternoon flick.

 

Movie: Orange County * * ½

Another Jack Black efforthe just isnt Adam Sandler is he?

 

Movie: Monsters Ball * * ½

Billy Bob & Halle? Hmmmmmthe Jury is still outnot terrible though

 

Movie: K-Pax * *

Could have been really good.Spacey came throughbut the rest of the cast was wellflat.

 

Movie: Domestic Disturbance *

Anyone know how this ended? I fell asleep.

 

Movie: Harry Potter * * *

Decent Kids Flicknot too badJ

 

Movie: Mothman Prophecies * *

Hmmmm..Just strangewithout a kick..

 

Movie: Not Another Teen Movie *

So not cool.

 

Movie: The Others * *

Not bad.but made me sleepy.

 

Movie: Vanilla Sky * * *

Not too bad at allIf it werent for the fact that I hate Tom Cruise, this movie would be great!.

 

Movie: MIB II * * ½

Could have been so much better.

 

Movie: Austin Powers III * * * ½

Damned funny flickminimi is the shiznit.

Movie: "The Last Castle" * * *
Redford again...hmmmm...Not a BAD flick...but makes the MPs (95Cagegekickers) to be REAL A-holes!
 
Book: "Star Wars- Approaching Storm" * * 1/2
Wouldn't have bought it personally. Glad I didn't!
 
Book: "Star Wars - Attack of the Clones" * * *
Good Story...but not a killer one...hope the Movie rocks...
 
Movie: "TAPS" * * * *
Classic "Brat Pack" flick..a Must own!
 
Movie: "Ocean's Eleven (2001)" * * * *
Now I gotta see the original...This is another Must Own.
 
Movie: "The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh (25th Aniv. Edition)" * * * * *
Got this for Tres, and we checked it out the other day...Pooh is a true Taoist Master.
 
Movie: "Suicide Kings" * * * *
An awesome sleeper that shows why Chris Walkin is the baddest of the bad guys.
 
Movie: "Remember the Titans" * * * *
Densel Shows yet again why he is the man!
 
Movie: "A Bridge Too Far" * * * 1/2
Classic WWII...Awesome!

Movie: "Spy Games" * * * 1/2
Brad does it again...but ya gotta put up with a venerable (I am being nice) Robert Redford.

Movies: "The Man With No Name Trilogy - 'A Fistfull of Dollars' 'A Few Dollars More' and 'The Good, ,The Bad,  and The Ugly'" * * * * *
The ORIGINAL Spagetti Westerns...Awesome stuff on DVD!

Movie: "Hang 'Em High" * * * *
Damn....Westerns like westerns should be!
 

Movie: "Zoolander" * * 1/2
Solid B flick...very funny, in the most stupid of ways:)

Movie: "Atlantis" * * *
Good solid Disney animation.Very much a Pagan feel....so if you sensibilities were offended by Mr. Potter....ya might want to steer clear.

Movie: "Falling Down" * * * 1/2
I know this is an oldie...but damn good. Go watch it, and see if you down't wan't to hose down a hoodie with an Uzi.

Movie: "Drawing Flies" * * 1/2
A "View Askew" Production, ie: Kevin Smith and Scott Mosier fronted the cash and appear in this...as well as most of the Jersey Saga regulars...this is really strange....and I wasn't enamored...BUT it wasn't bad either...Humph....

Movie: "Training Day" * * * *
Good stuff...Denzel as a bad guy...whodafiguredit?

Movie: "Artificial Intelligence" * * *
Pretty deep...coulda been 3/4 as long. But good.

Movie: "The One" *
NOT the Matrix.

Movie: "51st State"  * * * *
Another Sam Jackson Sleeper. Good Shite.

Movie: "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas" * * * *
This was AWESOME. Most of you will hate it.

Movie: "A Midnight Clear" * *
Hmmmm seems like it was good...but it's been 3 weeks since I watched it...I dunno....can't remember ....is that a sign?

Movie: "Dog Day Afternnon" ?
Didn't finish it...I guess I will try to watch it some other time.

Movie: "Very Bad Things" * * * *
Another Damn fine flick! I'm on a roll! Cameron Diaz actually proves she's not "Mary". Nice!

Movie: "Perfect Fit" * * * *
Where has this one been hiding? Great flick, KILLER soundtrack!

Movie: "Le Femme Nikkita" * * * *
Damn fine flick, I guess that's another one I gotta buy!

Movie: "Stalingrad" *
I couldn't even finnish this thing. It was the German attempt at "Saving Private Ryan" but the acting, FX, and storyline were SO bad that I had to turn it off. Subtitled or Dubbed, this sucks.

Movie: "All The Pretty Horses" * * 1/2
Pretty solid flick, but *Very* Predictable.

Movie: "Vampire Hunter D" *
Want's to be "Blood- The Last Vampire", fails miserably.

Book: "AR15/M16 Sourcebook" * * * *
A fine read on the history and function of the Armalite rifle series. A little dated, but "facts is facts". A must read for all "Joes" and gun guys alike.

Book: "Seize the Night" * * * 1/2
Dean R Koontz does it again with another psuedo science supernatural scary book. Stephen King *wishes* he was Koontz.

Movie: "1941" * * *
(I believe) this is Speilberg's 1st WW2 movie, AND attempt at Comedy...pretty damn funny for the most part...Belushi makes the whole movie worth it!

Movie: "Ghost World" * * 1/2
A for effort on this Gen "y" girl version of "Clerks". But the ending was way lame.

Movie: "Bravo Two Zero" * * 1/2
From the book. a BBC "made for TV" movie...but accurate.

Movie: "Tank Girl" * * *
Punk stuff...TOO cool! B flick from hell.

Movie: "American Pie 2" * * *
not quite as funny as #1 but still a hoot!

Movie: "The Fast and the Furious" * * *
Damn good B flick. Vin Desiel is one cool MFer.

Movie: "Poor White Trash" * * *
What "Joe Dirt" should have been.

Movie: "Rat Race" * * 1/2
All the comedy greats! Good solid B flick.

Movie: "Black Hawk Down" * * * * *
What can I say...awesome...right up there with "Saving Private Ryan". Really
hits home, and is pertinent to the times. The last line of the movie spells
it all out...Bill Clinton Sucks.

Movie: "Requium for a Dream" * * *
Solid flick, it's sort of "Trainspotting", with the cenimatic flair of "Snatch".

Movie: "The Last Temptation of Christ" * * * 1/2
Good solid flick. It really didn't deserve all of the controversy that it got...Harvey Kitel palys Judas wonderfully and Willam Defoe plays a Jesus that is Human...some of you may just hate that.

Movie: "Momento" * * * *
Damn good flick. BUT, if you were confused by "Pulp Fiction" or "Fight Club" Stay the hell away.

Movie: "Seven Years in Tibet" * * * *
No matter what Shaza says, I HAVE NOT seen this before. All I have to say about this is FREE TIBET! Excelent flick.

Series: "Band of Brothers (HBO)" * * * 1/2
Pretty damned good, Historically, DEAD on...but it kinda dragged in spots...I have to say, the book WAS better! BUT, MANY thanks to Akire for the tapes! I owe you one sista!

Series: "ROBOTECH: THe Southern Cross" * * 1/2
I got this because I am a silly completionist...it's a mediocre segue between two Icons of Anime.

Book: "Lies Across America" by James Loewan *
This is a super-dose of liberal crap. This guys statrs off in the first few chapters whining about name changes to mountains and whatnot...and degenerates into a tour-de-force of Confederate battle monuments, with the sole intention of bashing them...VERY few facts, mostly opinions...this guy need to learn how to be objective.

Movie: "Druids" *
I picked up this movie, hopping for a sleeper, and popped ...it.........in.........the..........V..C.....R..zzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZ......

Movie: "Apocolypse Now -REDUX" * * * *
DVD Widescreen, remastered, withh all of the Outtakes back in....GREAT flick!

Movie: "Balkans Cabaret" * *
Subtitles, not a bad flick...basically a Balkans version of Pulp Fiction, set during the recent conflict in Kosovo/Bosnia.

Movie: "One Night at McCool's" * * * *
Damn good flick. Sort of a GenXSpatWes spoof...all star cast. Watch it!

Movie: "Moulan Rogue" * *
Plot wasn't crap...but someone tell Ewan to NEVER sing again.

Movie: "Down to Earth" * *
Chris rock comes back from the dead...yada yada yada.

Movie: "Along Came a Spider" * * 1/2
A tame "Seven" sequel? Not bad, just not as good as it could be....Predictable.

Movie: "Caveman's Valentine" * * * 1/2
Sort of in the vien of "12 Monkeys" Samuel Jackson delivers another sleeper. Really a soild flick. I want the DVD.

Movie: "Panic" * * * *
mmmmm Neve Campbell...scrumptious! Oh...the rest of the movie..ANOTHER SLEEPER! You need to see this, it's a great flick concerning a Hit man's place in real life. A heartbreaker really.

Movie: "The Score" * * 1/2
ALMOST fell asleep during the 1st half hour, but I pulled through, and glad I did...the Rest of the flick was pretty damned good!

Movie: "Rush Hour 2" * * 1/2
A good solid action flick. Tucker and Chan do it again.

Movie: "The People Vs. Larry Flynt" * *
Not a bad flick, seemed accurate across the board.

TV Show: "Drew Carey" * * * * *
I know, not a book or movie, but the BEST damn sitcom ever..."Freinds"?...BAH! They got NOTHING on the fat guy and beer!

Movie: "Pearl Harbor" * * 1/2
The "Historical" part was pretty groovy...but...they coulda cut out about 1 hour of the 3 long hours this was by doing away with all the "Love" subplot, and the Doolittle raid afterward....

Movie: "Five Aces" * 1/2
Charlie sheen and friends have a stag party that turns into some 30 something self help clinic. *blah* Not TERRIBLE, but really a chick flick in disguise.

Movie: "Legally Blonde" * * 1/2
My little Reese in a Chick Comedy....go Figure! Doesn't suck too bad.

Movie: "If Dog, Rabbit" * * *
In the tradition of "Way of the Gun" This GenX SpatWes ends up in Old Mexico...Good Flick!

Movie: "Finding Forrester" * * * *
Damn good flick. Sean Connery proves again why he can be late to the shooting of his movies.

Movie: "Dogs and Cats" * * 1/2
FUnny @ times. CGI was decent, but the gadgets were *way* overboard.

Movie: "Swordfish" * * * *
Damn good effort, I wish people would get over the PC stickers that they put on the DVD about 9/11, dude, IT's A FREAKIN' MOVIE!!! Pretty good one @ that, Hot chicks, guns explosions...cool.

Movie: "Man in the Moon" *
CRAP.

Movie: "Planet of the Apes" * * *
Tim Burton does it again! A nice remake. Granted I *hated* the original.

Movie: "Shrek" * * * 1/2
Sillyness abounds. Picture a good natured, green, "Fat Bastard" from APII.

Movie: "The Grinch That Stole Xmas" * * *
Pretty good Jim Carey remake of the Dr. Suess classic. Not too bad!

Movie: "Bridget Jones' Diary" * *
Chickflick about some loser English chick. Has that whoremonger crack head from England, Hugh Grant. Had *some* redeeming scenes but *NOT* worth all of that hype.

Movie: "Bright Shining Lie" * * 1/2
HBO movie about NAM. Based *loosely* on the book of the same name(the book was MUCH better). Didn't suck.

Movie: "Gia" * * 1/2
Flick about a street chick that becomes a supermodel and her ultimate demise. Supposed to based on a true story. Angelina (damn, she took her clothes off and got it on with another chick)Jolie is *very* believable in this role, and makes the silly thing worth the watch.

Movie: "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back" * * * *
Snootch to the M**THA F**kin' Bootch! Great Flick! Kevin Smith does it again.

Book: "Arabian Nights" * * 1/2
Well, I finally read this (also during the week after 9/11) and I must say that although *some* of the classinc stories like "Ali Babba and the 40 Thieves" were really good, I would have killed that droneing slag on like the 3rd night, had I been the King what had her bretrothed. How redundant can you be?

Movie: "The Replacements" * * 1/2
A good solid "B" movie about scab NFL players. Keanau does a good job playing a dumbshite quarterback and The SWAT team Linebaker is GREAT..

Movie: "The Seven Samurai" * * * *
This flick is what "The Magnificent Seven" is based on, and where G. Lucas got a lot of inspiration for SW...if you don't mind subtitles you *MUST* see this, to Quote the BNL "like Kurasuwa, I make MAD films, OK I don't make films, but if I did they'ed have a Samurai"

Book: "The Great Gatzby" * * * * 1/2
Another re-read, why doesn't anyone write like this anymore? The Gatzby is my kind of dude. Would love to party with that guy!

Book: "The Catcher in the Rye" * * * * *
I figure since I mentioned it, I re-read it right after 9/11, reminded me of why I want to write..Salinger is THE MAN..but, SOME of you phoney bastards won't get this book...nuff said.

Series: "ROBOTECH: The Macross Saga" * * * *
Classic Anime, this is what started it all for me! I loved it when I was a kid, and now it's out on DVD...it's the shite!

Movie: "Blood: The Last Vampire" * * * *
More GREAT anime...Buffy with an attitude...set during 'Nam in Japan. Plenty o killin'.

Movie: "Ghost in a Box" * * * *
Breathtaking anime...Bladerunner meets Cyberpunk. sweet.

Movie(s)"Samurai X (Trust / Betrayal)" * * * *
GREAT Anime...GREAT story..sort of a Samurai Anime version of a Clint Eastwood flick. Kinda gory tho...be forwarned.

Movie: "Final Fantasy" * *
Great animation, shite for a plot.

Movie: "The Tailor of Panama" * * *
Pretty damn good flick. Solid...James Bond is a F**k-up is post war Panama. Imagine a good lookin version of me as a British spy in the Canal Zone...too funny!

Movie: "Freddie Got Fingered" * * * 1/2
If you hate Tom Green, DO NOT even look sideways at this movie in Blockbuster...I Loved it...but most of ya would think it is shite.

Movie: "Star Wars, Episode I - The Phantom Menace (DVD)" * * * * 1/2
Say what you will about Jar-Jar...but this is a GREAT movie...especially on DVD...the outtakes are AWESOME and the picture is brilliant. I forgot how GREAT this movie can look...go pay your tythe to the Holy Flanneled one.

Book: "Band of Brothers" * * * * *
If you liked "Saving Private Ryan" and can read (duh, you are reading this) you will LOVE this book...I know about the HBO miniseries, but the book is the shite.

Movie: "The Way of the Gun" * * * 1/2
Another GenX Spat-wes..Good shite. Go buy it...I did.

Movie: "Snatch" * * * *
Another Brad Pitt psyco showcase, and a GenX spat-wes...He plays a Piker or *Irish Traveller* for those of you readers in Aiken! Only this Piker is in England...and mixed up with the wacky English Mob...Bricktop,Turkish and the rest provide another HELLarous respite from the standard hollywood crap. Another MUST see.

Movie: "Boondock Saints" * * * * *
THE must see GEN X neuvo spagetti western, ONLY @ Blockbuster..or Import DVD..basically 2 dumb-shite Micks become uber-vigilanties. Charlie Bronson always has a rope, and so do the McMannis Brothers. Go ahead and get it...

Movie: "Dude, Where's My Car?" * * 1/2
Another comedy in the spirit of "Something About Mary" and "Road Trip". SO stupid that ya GOTTA laugh. BUT not stupid enough to buy....ya know?

Movie: "Proof of Life" * * *
About a cat that negotiates for the release of the kidnapped...that gladiator guy and Meg Ryan play the roles pretty well. The technical (military) aspects are pretty good, as was the plot...but something held it back. Not bad, I'd watch it again.

Movie: "Ordinary Decent Criminal" * * * *
I think I will call this type of flick, that fits in with "Pulp Fiction", "Boondock Saints" and "Snatch" The Gen X Spagetti Westerns or maybe not...anyway, Kevin Spacy nails this one spot on, Set in Dublin...a good watch.

Movie: "Essex Boys" * * 1/2
Another wanna-be Res-Dogs or Boondock Saints type flick..not terrible, but I wouldn't buy the DVD if ya know what I mean.

Book - Wilbur Smith's "Warlock" * * * *
Outstanding read set in ancient Egypt - Historical fiction with a twist of Magick! Good inthralling stuff.

Movie - "Hannibal" *
Over acted, poor plot, too gory (did *I* say that?)and just plain wasn't even CLOSE to "Silence of the Lambs" in that stylish, scare-the-shite out of you way...Only see it if you must.

Book - Larry Elder's "Ten Things You Can't Say in America"
* * * * *
This is the book that I have been waiting for concerning politics.A NEO-Manifesto for the Jeffersonian Cnstitutional in us all.(he calls them Libratarians, but I digress)This guys says everything we all want to, but can't...or are afraid to. A MUST READ for anyone tired of the Status Quo. Go buy it right now!

Movie - "Joe Dirt" -* (that's MINUS 1 star)
COMPLETE CRAP. Adam Sandler never had a worse day as a Producer...and David Spade sucks.

Book - Chuck Palahniuk's "Fight Club" * * * 1/2
This first effort is the predecessor to the 5 star movie and is pretty good in it's own right, but the screenplay set the standard...unusual but true. This books proves that we are not "Our F**king Khakis!"

Book - Chuck Palahniuk's "Survivor" * * * 1/2
His sophomore effort is just as good as "Fight Club" and agian he questions the world as we know it.

Book - Chuck Palahniuk's "Invisible Monsters" * * * *
The next installment of twisted actually comes aout a little ahead of it's predecessors for twistedness and suprises - NOT for the fient of heart! Concerns a Model who lives with a face newly disfigured...Nice.

Book - Chuck Palahniuk's "Choke" * * * * 1/2
In case you are wondering, yes I read them all back to back! A good 4 days for me...Choke being the lastest effort by my new literary hero, exceeds the limit on twisted and warped....imagine Tyler Durdin as a sex addict attending 12 step programs! This is it...can't wait for the movie!